Need Some Cheering Up on Valentines Day?
It's Valentines Day, which means it could be a great day for you...or if your single, this day may feel like the Apocalypse. If your in a relationship, good for you. Enjoy your flowers, chocolate and free dinner - must be nice, eh? For the rest of you single, sad, and loathing folks, this post will help you see the light at the end of this crippling, tunnel of loneliness that you are in. Prepare for a new outlook on this incriminating day of love with these special Valentines Day Fails, hand selected by me- Cheers!
When you are feeling lonely on Valentines Day just remember:
Even Justin Bieber's relationship failed.
2. If you are wishing that you were in a relationship, just think:
Being stable with yourself is better that being unstable with someone else...
3. Always remember that although you may not have a life partner, you have people that love and take care of you.
4. Feeling Rejected, is better than being rejected:
5. If you're single, you never have to be put in this awkward situation...
...or this one....
6. And if you ever were in a relationship before, you have wisdom that others don't...which means you can see through the bullshit:
it's the wisdom seen above that will prevent you from doing this:
Studies show that tattoos last 60 years longer than the average modern relationship. With that said, lets hope you out-live this person by a long shot.
7. On Valentines Day, it's hard not to reminisce on past relationships...
....But then you see the old photos, and realize you are much better off this way...
...and at least you had past experiences to compare to and grow from, because the otherwise your love life would be something like this:
8. When you are single and lonely on Valentines Day, it may seem like the worst day in the world. However, if you think you're having a bad day - just think about a day in the life of Nicholas Cage. Once you do, you will know what it's like to have a really bad day, or like 7 bad days a week:
9.) Things could always be worse, right? You could have been dating this guy:
10.) So what are you gunna do? Are you going to go home and cry about the fact that you may ultimately die alone? The answer is: NO....because crying makes you look ugly and you'll never find a date that way. Learn from these sloppy sobbers:
Claire Danes: Homeland Security
Kim Kardashian: Cry Baby K
Britney Spears: Oops, she's crying again
Sloppy Sammy Sobber
Ann Hath No Way Out
Julianne Moore Tears
Lindsey is Losin it
Chris Brown Noser
So without further ado, embrace this day for what it is. Use this day as a great excuse to drink too much, or eat a ton of chocolate. If you would rather feel sorry for yourself, fine by me! Take the chocolate that you bought yourself, and that bottle of booze that youre drinking strait from the paper bag and listen to these soul sucking songs:
R.E.M. Everybody Hurts
Eric Carmen - All By Myself
Bobby Viton - I'm Mr Lonely
Celine Dion - Nothing Broken But My Heart