Worst American Idol Fails
American Idol is just finished filtering through the bad talent and ready to take next steps to Hollywood. Unfortunately, this is usually when I loose interest in the show... I mean after watching years and years of talented singers fight to the top, I find the most entertainment resides in the singers that sink to the bottom. By this, of course, I am referring to the first weeks of fails from the season. The unique underdogs with excruchiating vocals who against all odds, still manage to perform for the judges in their most honest and rarist of form. These individuals are where the real entertainment lies - lets be honest, who wants the good when they can have the bad and the ugly!?
High-pitched and Shrill...Like a Virgin?
We found this gem from the very first American Idol back in the day. This is Keith - who reminds me a great deal of my ex-boyfriend in the flambouyant sense...but seriously, Poor Keith. So full of hope and inspiration from Madonna; the drag queen herself. He even grew out his hair for this gig! After Keith sang what seemed to be the sound of a pig getting slaughtered, Simon Cowell shot him down faster than a fly in karate kid! So Keith, maybe your talent isnt in singing, but reality television looks good on you!
Bum-Buddies, Bush Babies, and Medium Vocal Days
Brace yourselves for this odd couple with a surprisingly optimistic outlook on their future in Idol. I almost feel bad about the fact that I was in stitches laughing through this entire video because of how confident they were that they could succeed despite the fact that niether one of them would have made it if they were related to Cowell himself. Although I was horrified that Simon compared Kenneth to a species of Monkey, I couldnt help but think the same thing myself. I mean, the resemblence is kinda uncanny... for those who need a clearer understanding of the animal Kenneth was compared to, here goes:
Something about the look in their eyes, I wouldn't mess with them...Stay tuned for the show:
Watch Out Simon: When Bush Babies Attack!
Mary, Mary, Quite Scary
This is Mary Roach and she sounds like she just passed the roach, if you know what I mean. I was glad to hear that Mary Roach had a back up plan to becoming famous seeing as she didnt seem to sway the judges in the way that she swayed her hips..Nothing can speak more volumes that the awkward silence that trailed this perfomance let alone her attempts to justify that Simon was turning her down to get on her nerves. I have this new saying I came up with after watching this clip: Red Shirt, Red Flag, Run. I just hope those voices in her head can sing better than she did and I would say next time she signs up for something, it should include a room with white, padded walls.