After spending over 35 hours stuck in my house due to the driving ban placed by the Government for this Blizzard called "Nemo," I've had a lot of time to reflect on my surroundings. By reflect, of course, I mean that I pondered why I ever liked snow as kid. What was it about this white, cold, wet and back-breakingly heavy heaps of ice that made me look out the window and feel joy all around me? Now, I look out my window at the 3 feet of snow covering the ground, and I think about how that 3 feet of snow is depleating me of a social life this SATURDAY NIGHT! I also realize that I'll probably be shoveling my way to an untimely death and I'll be feeling cold and bitter through it all. You see, I live with my parents. I know, I know, but it's true. Had I not had to shack up with the rents, these problems wouldnt be as bad because instead of being guilted into shoveling, I'd probably be drunk, in my pajamas, and surrounded by others who want to sit and complain about the snow. Instead, this is my life, I hate the snow and I'm so bored that I'm actually blogging about how much I hate the snow. SO since I can't entertain myself, I might as well entertain you people by bringing you back to the days as a kid where you once liked snow, and then showing you the harsh reality of how horrible snow really is. Enjoy, whatever.......
What Snow Days Felt Like as a Kid:
What Snow Days Feel Like Now:
Snowhere to go, Snowhere to turn, Snow point of trying...
What Snowmen Meant to You as a Kid:
What Snowmen Mean to You Now:
The life-span of a snowman is short, don't get attached.
Sledding as a Kid:
Even if I didnt get whip-lash, I'm still wet, I'm still cold, and I'm still miserable
What Making Snow Angels Was Like as a Kid:
What Making Snow Angels Means Now:
I drank too much, I fell asleep, I will regret this in the morning...
What Eating Snow Was Like as a Kid:
What Eating Snow Is like Now:
1 Simple Rule: Don't eat it. Period.
What Snow Ball Fights Were Like as a Kid:
What Snow Ball Fights Are Like Now:
If this looks fun to you, you should probably talk to somebody..
What Shoveling Snow Was Like as a Kid:
What Shoveling Snow Is Now:
What Drinking in the Snow Was Like as a Kid:
What Drinking in the Snow is Now:
"Dude...sooo weird, I can't feel a thing!"
...And that, my friends, is the difference between Adults and Kids....
"The last time I expected to see such large
quanities of snow, I was watching the
E True Hollywood Story on Charlie Sheen"
With this big Noreaster approching, its always key to cover your tracks for a weekend stuck inside. What I do first is Stock the liquer cabinet - that is the key ingredient to my spiked snowcones which always makes for a good time. If your not into that or afraid of finding out that the yellow snowcone you've been eating is not lemon flavored or artificially colored, then maybe these next few things will work better for ya...
Just kidding! A for effort but wow - who has the time to do this? More importantly, why spend day after day effortly carving this masterpiece when it is made out of SNOW!? I mean, what happens when all that work melts? What happens when that gigantic puddle floods every basement within a square mile? Am I the only one stressing that the lights set up around it could very well speed up the thawing process? Pray for LED and on to the real stuff...
1.) Mission Impossible The Sh*t Out Of Your Escape Plan
Hey, it's worth a shot if you've got somewhere to go... or are running from the law. No one likes feeling stuck, but then again, the thought of exerting all of that energy on an escape when I have a freezer full of tequila and margarita mix right at home, seems a tad bit pointless.
2.) Make The Best Of What You Have
Make a Fridge out of snow for beers and drinks. It will keep your drinks cold and your buzz going! Just simply pack the snow down and builld from the base up. Trust me, its worth it. But if you're lazy like most are just do this:
3.) If You Want To Get Outside, Be Creative:
Just try not to look like a pedophile...
4.) Learn From These Mistakes:
Believe it or not, when things freeze, they get slippery. You don't want to be the person who slips and eats the pavement! You want to be the person that is laughing at the person who slips and eats the pavement. It's just soooooooOOOooo much easier to find humor in the brutally painful, yet epic fails of another than those of my own.
5.) If You Are Going To Report, Make Sure You Fully Abort:
"I don’t want anything from
you for Valentines Day in
the fact that I don’t want
anything that costs less
than a fortune."
Seeing as it is award season and celebrities are being talked about left and right, I figured it most fitting to make this next post all about celebrities. But why stop there? Why not add in some animal pictures...and wait! Why not add in Animal pictures that could pass as Celebrity doppelgangers? Now we're talking...
Now this is just an emPARISment!
Why so scared Paris? Is it because I compared you to an oversized bird? Don't worry Girl, you're not alone! according to wikipedia, "Ostriches can live in groups of five to 50 birds" Looks like you're doppleganger can be a socialite too! It seems the only true difference between Paris and her Doppelganger buddy is that "Ostriches can go without drinking for several days" and well...Paris can't :-(
Bruce Isn't the Only Baldy With an Intense Stare
Is it just me or did I just find the perfect body double for Bruce Willis in his new Die Hard movie? Think about it...they are both bald, all american, and have a vengence to kill - well at least Bruce does in movies!
I must say I never thought I'd compare the tough, crime-fighting, and talented Robert De Niro to this helpless breed of bear, but in his old age he has developed a certain likeness to this mammal that I just can't ignore. Despite the hard outer shell, De Niro has a softer side - like this Koala Bear. See De Niro's true colors come out in his newest film "The Silver Linings Playbook." I wont tell you everything, but I will say it was nice to see the old man cry in a movie. If I could have been there, I woulda given him a big Koala bear hug.
Now What's All the Blubber About?
Lindsay Lohan has convinced me that she actually is TRYING to turn herself into a fish. The media must have really offended her because she is gradually puffing out like a blowfish that feels threatened. I would have compared her to a baboon with the lips alone, but since she probably has wet-brain already from years of drinking like a fish, what more fitting than this pale bubble blower to be her doppelganger? Am I being mean? Sorry Lindsay, you are what you drink...:-/.
Ok before everyone and their mother gets mad at me for picking at Woody Allen, know that I love his work and respect him as a screenwriter. In his defense this monkey is trying to look like Woody Allen and therefore Woody Allen is still Woody Allen. However, this monkey shows some resemblence.. only in the skin, nose, ears, eyes and hair, soooo....
Tilda Swinton, meet your doppelganger, Praying Mantis. For anyone who thinks I am stretching this one out a bit ask yourself:
Does she have bug eyes?
Does she have a long neck?
Does she have a triangular shaped face?
Do you wonder if she eats her mates?
Does she creep the heck out you?
If you have answered yes to all of these questions, you agree with the similarities above. If I have not swayed you yet, I will now:
I mean SERIOUSLY...is this not the same picture!?
American Idol is just finished filtering through the bad talent and ready to take next steps to Hollywood. Unfortunately, this is usually when I loose interest in the show... I mean after watching years and years of talented singers fight to the top, I find the most entertainment resides in the singers that sink to the bottom. By this, of course, I am referring to the first weeks of fails from the season. The unique underdogs with excruchiating vocals who against all odds, still manage to perform for the judges in their most honest and rarist of form. These individuals are where the real entertainment lies - lets be honest, who wants the good when they can have the bad and the ugly!?
High-pitched and Shrill...Like a Virgin?
We found this gem from the very first American Idol back in the day. This is Keith - who reminds me a great deal of my ex-boyfriend in the flambouyant sense...but seriously, Poor Keith. So full of hope and inspiration from Madonna; the drag queen herself. He even grew out his hair for this gig! After Keith sang what seemed to be the sound of a pig getting slaughtered, Simon Cowell shot him down faster than a fly in karate kid! So Keith, maybe your talent isnt in singing, but reality television looks good on you!
Bum-Buddies, Bush Babies, and Medium Vocal Days
Brace yourselves for this odd couple with a surprisingly optimistic outlook on their future in Idol. I almost feel bad about the fact that I was in stitches laughing through this entire video because of how confident they were that they could succeed despite the fact that niether one of them would have made it if they were related to Cowell himself. Although I was horrified that Simon compared Kenneth to a species of Monkey, I couldnt help but think the same thing myself. I mean, the resemblence is kinda uncanny... for those who need a clearer understanding of the animal Kenneth was compared to, here goes:
Something about the look in their eyes, I wouldn't mess with them...Stay tuned for the show:
Watch Out Simon: When Bush Babies Attack!
Mary, Mary, Quite Scary
This is Mary Roach and she sounds like she just passed the roach, if you know what I mean. I was glad to hear that Mary Roach had a back up plan to becoming famous seeing as she didnt seem to sway the judges in the way that she swayed her hips..Nothing can speak more volumes that the awkward silence that trailed this perfomance let alone her attempts to justify that Simon was turning her down to get on her nerves. I have this new saying I came up with after watching this clip: Red Shirt, Red Flag, Run. I just hope those voices in her head can sing better than she did and I would say next time she signs up for something, it should include a room with white, padded walls.
"May you find great relief in knowing
that you were not the only one who
blacked out at the second half of the
2013 Superbowl Championship."
" I may be able to fulfill my New Years Resolution of losing 18 lbs due to
the rampant spread of the Flu Virus" - Shoe So Funny!
Girls (2012) on HBO created by, written by AND Starring Lena Dunham. Above (left to right) Jemima Kirke, Allison Williams, Lena Dunham, and Zosia Mamet.
If you haven't watched the first season of the hit series Girls on HBO, now is the time to catch up! Since it's premier on April 15, 2012, Girls has become a hit series, revolving around the lives of 4 young adult friends living in New York and facing the many challenges and responsibilities that come with adulthood and independence. However, what makes Girls different from a coming-of-age drama is that it is a modern day comedy with a script that is able to relate to the life experiences of young adults today and touches upon these true to life moments with smart and witty humor that will have you laughing through every episode. See More For Video Clips of the Hit Series Girls
What I find is the best aspect of the show is in its portrayal of real characters that have imperfections and flaws that are both recognisable and refreshing. All 4 girls maintain very different personalities of character but each has their hardship and each has their flaws. When my friends and I first watched it, we were all able to relate to a certain character or certain characteristics of each of the girls which made it easier to relate to the storyline and understand what each character is going through. Lena Dunham does an amazing job with the script and maintains each character's personal style throughout the season, slipping in her comedic, whitty humor as much as possible. I find that each time I watch an episode over I find funny quotes in it that I hadn't noticed before.
Girls Season 1 Recap:
If you havn't seen Season 1 of Girls, and want to know more, this recap is for you.
The show begins with the main character, Hannah (Lena Dunham), getting a visit from her parents in New York and over dinner they break the news to her that they will no longer help to pay her bills. It is here that Hannah's character is introduced as a post-graduate writer who moved to New York to fulfill her writing career, landed an unpaid internship at a publishing company, and then was abruptly financially cut -off by her parents on this visit. This financial blow to Hannah's life, forces her to reevalute her current life and make changes in order to keep her independance afloat in the City.
It is then that we are introduced to Marnie (Allison Williams), who is Hannah's best friend and roommate. Marnie is an old soul and viewed as the "adult" out of the friends, having a high-paying job at an art studio and a long-term relationship with a boyfriend from college. Hannah and Marnie are polar opposites, but as you see their friendship unfold it is eminent that they balence eachother out perfectly. Marnie seems to have her life together, but beneath the surface she is having many doubts especially in her relationship, which she hangs on to for security until a sudden change spins her out of her comfortable life and forces her to also have to face unwanted change and insecurities.
On the otherside of town, the remaining two characters are introduced as Jessa (Jemima Kirke), a british born, free-spirit, with a constant need for excitement and change, moves in to her younger cousin Shoshanna's (Zosia Memet) apartment. Shoshanna and Jessa could not be more different when it comes to every aspect of thinking. Where Shoshanna is neat, inexperienced, uncertain, uptight, yet optimistic, Jessa is blunt, overtly experienced, distructive, careless, and unpredictable. However, just as Marnie and Hannah are an odd pair that works, so does Jessa and Shoshanna each having something to teach the other as the season unravels.
Without getting too much into the specifics of the season, here are a few clips that may help to paint a better picture:
Girls Season 1 Trailer:
Girls Season 1: Episode 2 - We're the Ladies
Girls Season 1: Episode 7 - You Smoked Crack
Girls Season 2 Premiering on January 13, 2013
Girls Season 2 Trailer 1:
Girls Season 2 Trailer 2:
There is a lot more to look forward to with Girls season 2 and I hope you tune in to the watch!
Girls Premiers January 13, 2012 at 9PM on HBO!
Happy New Year!